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420 Friendly Getaways for the Holiday Weekend

Posted by CANNASaver on Saturday, 03 September 2016 in Canna Blog

Just Say No…To National Parks, Spend Labor Day Somewhere 420 Safe

Marijuana is legal in several states now, with several more sure to come in the near future.  But just because pot is legal in a state does not mean that everywhere in that state is a safe place to spark up.  Marijuana is still illegal federally, so that means that it’s still illegal on any federal land.  Now it’s pretty easy to remember that federal courthouses and military bases are federal land, but there is one kind of federal land that we all seem to forget belongs to big brother - national parks and recreational facilities.  These lands are the most fantastic examples of what America the Beautiful really means, and because of this, they are the ones we want to visit and get high at the most.  But take this word of warning from the Savvy Stoner to heart.  Do not be tempted to bring pot onto federal land this Labor Day weekend, or anytime, even if it’s dank and the cheapest weed in Denver and you’re only cutting through the park.  You could end up like tens of thousands of others who thought they could get away with it – at the police station, having no fun at all. 

So where are some alternative places to enjoy your 420 friendly getaway, read on for some ideas to get you on your way to a legal and safe Labor Day celebration that includes memories that you want to remember.

State Parks

If your vacation plans bring you to Denver, or anywhere in Colorado, or the country, then state parks may be a great alternative to national parks. Every state has their own parks that uphold state laws, so if marijuana is legal in your state, then it’s legal in the state parks too unless it’s a park rule like no glass bottles.  And the choices of scenery, location, and recreation options are usually almost limitless.  In Colorado there are 42 state parks, with facilities in just about every nook and cranny of the state.  There is probably a state park within about an hour of where you are now, even if you don’t know it.  Many state parks are fairly unknown places, making the crowds much smaller than at more highly publicized places and making it much easier to rent a cabin, yurt, or campsite to enjoy your stash.  Remember though to always check individual park rules and always be private, discreet, and polite when enjoying your weed – it’s only right.

420 Friendly Hotels and Bed & Breakfasts

Finding dispensaries, even good cheap dispensaries is pretty easy in Colorado, but that isn’t always the case when it comes to 420 friendly lodging.  Many national hotel chains still feel they must abide by federal law completely and refuse to allow 420 friendly advertising; but some do still make pot users feel right at home by providing accommodations like outdoor smoking areas to make up for the fact that marijuana smoking of any kind is not allowed in the guest rooms.  If that sounds a little too iffy, then there are pot friendly hotels and bed and breakfasts too.  420 friendly hotel rooms often come with, or have access to, bongs and vaporizers to add to your awesome Colorado marijuana experience.  If a little more homelike and cozy is what you want, then maybe the weed friendly bed and breakfast is for you.  These are just like “regular” B&B’s with one huge difference, weed!  Not only is its use encouraged, it is socially acceptable too.  These weed-centric B&B’s are usually within walking distance or so from at least one dispensary with great dispensary deals, and generally really nice places to just kick back and chill.

Private Property (with Permission)

Private property, like the kind owned by people you know, can be one of the best places to spend any holiday weekend.  Parking is usually free, the rooms are cheap, the roommates may be weird – but they’re usually related to you.  Oh, and there are usually plenty of great cheap dispensaries nearby where you can buy all the great cannabis products you need to have the best holiday weekend ever.  Edibles, wax, shatter, butter or dabs.  Whatever you call it; flower, bud, chronic or dank.  Friends and relatives’ homes or vacation property can make for the best 420 friendly vacation destinations.  Easy to book, 420 friendly, and best of all, cheap.  Your next Cannabis friendly vacation, think of your friends and family when you think of affordable and pot friendly places to stay and save your cash for great deals on $100 ounces and so much more.

 

 

 

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CannaSaver Blog

Stoner Date Ideas

Posted by CANNASaver on Friday, 05 February 2021 in Canna Blog

Dear Savvy Stoner,

I’ve been seeing a new guy for about a month now, and I really like him, but we never go out anywhere. We both like to get high, so most of the time we end up just chilling at his apartment watching movies and smoking.

I’m okay with the marijuana, but it gets kind of boring just sitting around all the time. How can I get my boyfriend to leave the house and take me on an actual date for a change? And where should we go if I get him to agree?

Help!

Couch-locked in Denver

Dear Couch-locked in Denver,

Haven’t you ever watched Scooby-Doo? 

The problem with your partner is easy to solve. Just like Velma had to bribe Shaggy and Scooby with Scooby Snacks if she needed them to do her a favor, all you’ve got to do is use the right type of treats to tempt your boyfriend out of the house. Since your partner loves to get high, make marijuana a part of the date. Come up with some stoner date ideas, which really means, just add weed to any date!

stoner date ideas

Stoner Date Ideas

The best date ideas for stoners involve marijuana smoking as well as plenty of relaxation and opportunities for creative fun. You don’t want the date to sound too complicated, and if your partner is the homebody type, it would be best to avoid large crowds – especially if you’re planning to smoke some weed on your date. 

Have a Picnic

One idea you might try is to roll up a blunt and invite your partner on a nice picnic. Grass pairs well with, well, grass. Pick somewhere that’s secluded – under a tree or in the shade – so you’ll have some privacy, enjoy your meal in the sunshine, then blaze up your blunt. Or blaze first. Either way, you’re relaxed, you’re out of the house, you’re high, and you’ve got food nearby. 

Go on a Hike

Nature is the best medicine – other than marijuana, of course. Let your wild side out. Colorado is a beautiful state that provides plenty of scenic, breathtaking trails and parks. Take a few joints out on a hike and smoke them periodically along the way or pop an edible at the trailhead. Bring some hammocks and enjoy the view with your honey, just remember to leave no trace.

Take a Tour

Enjoy a night on the town, tour-style. There’s a lot to learn about Denver that you wouldn’t otherwise learn than doing a city tour

Another good date idea for stoners is to take a marijuana dispensary tour at Medicine Man Denver, where you can visit their growing facility and check out the best strains they have to offer. Or, you might take a tour of a glassblowing studio like The Furnace Glassworks. You can watch artisans blow glass, pick out a new smoking accessory to purchase, then head back home or somewhere else private to try out your new piece.

If you want to really go all out and have the ultimate stoner date, book a tour or activity with Colorado Cannabis Tours. CCT offers many unique experiences specially designed to appeal to stoners like you and your boyfriend. 

stoner painting date

Get "Crafty"

Cannabis can sometimes get those creative juices flowing and dates are best when memories are made. Create a memory together, whether it’s a class on painting, pottery, terrariums, or sewing. There are plenty of DIY/craft events around the Denver area to check out. Even some of them are pot-themed! If they’re not, perhaps bring an edible or two for extra creative inspiration. You could even try a steamy nude painting night of each other, which could be fun (and sexy around Valentine’s Day).

Make Some “Baked” Goods

Whether it’s an actual cooking class or just breaking out the cookbook at home, cooking as a couple can be quite fun – especially when weed is involved. You can even cook with cannabutter to mix the two! Flour, flower, and flirting can be the perfect combo for a stellar date night.

Photo Challenge Scavenger Hunt

This one is for photography lovers. Either take a scavenger hunt list from the internet or Instagram or try creating your own and take the cameras out! Don’t forget to pack some joints or edibles for a nice little high to give you a different perspective behind the lens. 

stoner netflix date

Netflix and “Cheech”

Sometimes the best date nights are the ones in comfy clothes, a warm blanket, a nice, heavy-setting Indica, and a movie. Perhaps things take a turn for the bedroom, either because they escalate (hubba hubba), or that Indica hits too hard, but either way, you’re sure to enjoy this relaxing date night.

Gift Exchange

One great way to show your love and appreciation for your partner is to give gifts. Even better if they’re weed-related! Create a date night where you both exchange gifts and words of appreciation for each other. Tacky, but if the gifts are done right, it could be a date night to remember.

If all else fails, tell your partner that you need to go to the marijuana dispensary, and just happen to stop for dinner and a movie along the way. Or, tell him there’s weed hidden all over your body, but he’ll have to meet you downtown for drinks to get the details. Trust me, with the right incentives, your boyfriend will be lured off the couch in no time.

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420 Friendly Colorado

Posted by CANNASaver on Wednesday, 14 April 2021 in Canna Blog - Latest News

April is here and weed lovers everywhere are getting ready for 420, which is arguably every stoner's favorite time of day, and/or year. 

The phrase “420” has become synonymous with cannabis culture and with marijuana users all over the world. Cannabis enthusiasts usually like to smoke at the time of 4:20 or they use the term to refer to April 20th, the time of year cannabis-centered events and celebrations take place globally. April 20th is also known as “marijuana’s biggest holiday.”

420 is celebrated all over the world, but it is especially loved here in Colorado. With 420 just around the corner, locals and visitors are getting ready to celebrate marijuana for all its euphoric and therapeutic properties. 

It’s important to note current health and social distancing protocols, as 420 celebrations might look a little different this year. Remember to be mindful of your surroundings and the safety protocols that are set in place, so everyone can have a safe 420. 

420 friendly colorado

Colorado, The 420 Epicenter

When thinking about 420-friendly places, you can’t help automatically think about Colorado. The state, being the first in America to legalize medical and recreational cannabis, is one of the largest cannabis hubs in the country, making it a great place for marijuana tourism and 420 events.

Colorado has been the home base for 420 celebrations and activities since 2014. Every April you’ll find numerous events that cater specifically to the cannabis community. This year, cannabis lovers are forced to celebrate a little differently but you can still expect there to be celebrations all over the state and in Denver. 

In pre-pandemic times, dozens of festivals and major events take place in Denver and all over Colorado. The Mile High 420 Festival is one of the most popular and brings approximately 50,000 people to Civic Center Park. The festival includes vendors, music, and entertainment. Big-name artists like Lil Jon and Jermain Dupri have even made appearances. The festival is gearing up to return in 2022.

420 is not just limited to festivals, there is an endless list of cannabis cantered activities to partake in. Denver and Colorado are home to over 500 types of dispensaries and grow-ops.

Additionally, cannabis-centered tours are a great way to immerse yourself in all things cannabis, you can even learn more about your favorite strains and how they’re grown and cultivated while offering a safe and socially distanced experience.

what does 420 mean

What Does 420-Friendly Mean?

Generally, if a place or business is 420-friendly - it means that the person or place is accepting of marijuana users. It’s important to distinguish 420-friendly spots in Colorado from others because there’s still a slight taboo around marijuana consumption, so it’s best to be mindful of the places and people you encounter and the rules surrounding marijuana. 

With progressive marijuana laws continuing to roll out, 420-friendly places are emerging all over the state and country - allowing cannabis users to consume their beloved plant with minimal discretion.

If you are someone with a medical marijuana card, the circumstances are a little different. It’s important to check in with your hotel or accommodation to see if they can provide you with a smoking room or a designated smoking area. 

420-Friendly Accommodations in Colorado

In Colorado, marijuana laws allow hotels and private rental properties such as Airbnbs to individually decide if guests are allowed to consume marijuana on the property. 

Many chain hotels are smoke-free, which means any type of smoking, whether tobacco or marijuana. Additionally, smoking/vaping cannabis is not permitted anywhere smoking is banned.

If you find a smoke-friendly hotel, they can accommodate your smoking needs with designated smoking areas or outdoor amenities such as patios and balconies.

Bud and Breakfasts is another option for those looking for 420-friendly accommodations. These are safe and legal accommodations for travelers who also happen to enjoy marijuana and want to do so openly on their trip. Some 420-friendly bnb’s even offering activities centered around cannabis, such as paint nights or cooking with cannabis classes.

Other accommodations allow you to smoke openly with minimal discretion like 420-friendly hotels. These accommodations allow visitors to consume marijuana openly..

If you want to smoke and be more discreet, it’s recommended to stick to vaping as they produce less odor than smoking from a joint, pipe, or bong.

420 in Colorado

420 Must Go On in Colorado

Despite roadblocks caused by COVID-19 this year and last, stoners all over the world are going to find their ways of celebrating. In Colorado, the options of activities and events to choose from are far from limited for both locals and visitors alike. 

Maybe there's not much sharing of joints, pipes, etc, but no pandemic is stopping cannabis lovers all over the country from lighting up in celebration of the beloved plant.

Don’t forget to check out our latest deals on Cannasaver.

Happy 420!

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What 420 Friendly Means

Posted by CANNASaver on Thursday, 15 April 2021 in Canna Blog

You may not realize it, but next week there is a stoner holiday.

On April 20th every year, marijuana lovers around the world gather to celebrate the beautiful, majestic cannabis plant in their favorite ways. 

You may have heard the term used in many different ways, but whether it connotes a time of day, a day of the year, or an entire lifestyle for you, 420 is what binds the cannabis community together. 

The story of the roots of 420 friendliness in the United States, much like many things involving cannabis, is pretty hazy (get it?). However, there are some commonly believed theories that can help us understand what the term 420 means in a historical context. 

If you are not familiar with the term “420” as it is used in the marijuana culture, here’s a look at its origins and its meaning. Before examining the type of 420 friendly services available across America, let’s briefly discuss where the term 420 came from, the history behind it and why it is embedded in America Culture. 

420 friendly meaning

What 420 Means

If you’re passing the pipe of that sweet Mary Jane, 420 is all you’ve got to say to let people know that you partake as well. The term "420" was first associated with marijuana use in 1971 and has been very much used since. 

With marijuana being illegal, consumers had to partake in secret, shop in dark alleys, and speak in code. Though it originally spread as an internal clock for a single group of smokers, the term now refers to the ongoing fight for nationwide legalization and the spread of accessible information within both the medical and recreational communities. 

Today, the term 420 and references to marijuana are all over the social media, games, music, and websites that people are using every day.

Origin Story of 420 

Cannabis is a plant of many names: weed, ganja, marijuana, kush, etc. In today’s legalization of marijuana in Colorado, we can call cannabis whatever we would like without the worry of police interference. But things were not always so rosy. 

In the early 1970s, weed was still highly illegal. The term 420 originated with a group of high school kids at San Rafael High School in California. The group who called themselves “The Waldos” started using 4:20 as the time of day they would meet to go seek out a secret stash they would leave in various places. Rather than announce they were going to get high, they used the code 420. 

The ritual spread, and soon 420 became code for smoking marijuana. Eventually, 420 was converted into 4/20 for calendar purposes, and the day of celebration was born. 

what 420 friendly means

What Being 420 Friendly Means 

You will ultimately need to ask the person if they themselves smoke, though it is usually implied that they do if they have this in their profile. 

Since its origins back in the 70s, 420 has stuck as a pretense for cannabis culture. 4:20 is the hour to partake, and April 20th has become the international stoner holiday to celebrate cannabis culture and progress. The term 420 and its usefulness as a discrete codeword lives on today, particularly on different sites. How will you know if your future girlfriend, roommate, or houseguest is down to smoke? Drop a 420 friendly in there. 

The term 420 friendly essentially means that the person smokes marijuana or is open to smoking it. This term can also mean that the person doesn’t smoke themselves, but they are okay with those who do.

420 friendly is seen quite often with advertisements for housemates, tenants, or dating apps. It simply means that the person or place is accepting of people who smoke weed and probably do it themselves. 

In the past, 420 friendly has meant that a business or hotel won’t call the police on you if you spark up. However, given the shaky legal status of pot in the past, the term was only as reliable as the person in charge of wherever you were staying. 

That said, with the rapidly changing weed laws that are currently rocking the country the definition of what is 420 friendly is changing pretty rapidly. Now the possibility of finding places with actual legal policies in place to ensure that you are able to smoke undisturbed. 

Colorful Colorado sign

Why is Colorado Known for Being 420 Friendly? 

People have always used pot to socialize throughout the centuries. With marijuana legalization popping up everywhere, stoners around the country now have lots of options when it comes to herbal socializing (though slowed due to COVID). 

Being the first to blaze the trail, Colorado is well known for being 420 friendly. Colorado was afterall one of the first states to legalize. Safe to assume we have some cannabis consumers in this state. Also, Colorado is slowly unveiling pot coffee shops, smoking lounges, and hotels coming in the future.

Colorado is very 420 friendly.

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420 Deals

Posted by CANNASaver on Friday, 16 April 2021 in Canna Blog - Latest News

'Tis the year for green. Like, everywhere. We're talking about people partaking in the glorious ganj, the grass is green again, the trees are starting to bud new leaves, and you're saving cash on weed. 4/20 is a great time to celebrate the green!

420 deals

As people gather at their nearest dispensaries on/around April 20th for the best 420 deals, it's best to save some time beforehand (especially in a year where things like lines are already slow, given the circumstances).

You might already know, but 4/20 in Colorado can get pretty busy, so you're probably trying to get in and out of your dispensary with some awesome weed deals as fast as you can. Luckily, you can save time with some 420 deals online.

We've paired up with a ton of different dispensaries in Colorado to give you the best deals you can find, in-store or online.

The busiest day for the cannabis industry, also known as 420, is right around the corner, and everyone is gearing up for marijuana’s annual holiday. Due to the COVID-19 global health crisis, 420 is going to look a little different with fewer live celebrations and more virtual ones. Despite the restrictions placed on this year’s 420, there is no doubt that weed lovers everywhere will still be celebrating their favorite plant (they just might not be passing their pieces and joints this time around). 

An exciting part about 420 this year is the number of online deals offered by dispensaries to help you stock up for your celebrations and festivities. Whether you’re a flower child, an edible lover, CBD enthusiast, or a vaping master, we have some great online deals for all types of cannabis consumers

Like, a lot of 420 deals that we've just updated recently, with a ton of new dispensaries and locations, so find your nearest dispensary. 

420 Deals at Your Nearest Dispensary

As one of the first states to legalize the recreational and medical use of cannabis, Colorado is home to hundreds of dispensaries -- It’s also the epicenter of 420 celebrations on this side of the globe. To get you excited for this year’s 420 festivities, dispensaries in the area are offering incredible deals on some of your favorite products, and it’s just the beginning. 

On the website, you can actually sort through our 420 deals by category. That means to say, you can select your favorite types of weed products (wax, flower, edibles, etc.) and search all the 420 deals we have going on with those category filters.

First, click on Categories and select "420 Deals". Then, once the 420 Deals filter has been selected, you can select all stores that have 420 deals.

Here, we'll start with some dispensaries in the Denver area that are offering some of the best online 420 deals:

The Lodge Cannabis on High St. and Federal Blvd. is offering deals on a selection of wax, shatter, pre-rolls and edibles.

Peak MJ is offering 2g Harvest Wax for $30! 

Check out Pure Marijuana Dispensary’s deals on distillate, wax, and shatter, like 25% off all edibles and 40% off all apparel.

The Stone has a variety of shake, pre-rolls, and live resin on sale!

1136 Yuma is offering $1 pre-rolled joints with any edible purchase! 

The Little Brown House in Denver is coming in clutch with deals on Spectra cartridges and live budder. 

Doc's Apothecary is offering $50 ounces, OTD (out the door) on 4/19 and 4/20 only. So go!

420 Weed Deals by Category

On the website, you can actually sort through our 420 deals by category.

That means to say, you can select your favorite types of weed products (wax, flower, edibles, etc.) and search all the 420 deals we have going on. 

Simply just select the "420 Deals" category under the Category (or Categories) dropdown.

From there, you'll see all of the deals we're featuring, from a very large list of dispensaries. It's definitely worth checking out.

420 deals online

Here, we'll help give you a head start with a few examples of some different categories you can expect to save on, from flower to edibles and everything in between.

Flower

There's nothing like enjoying a good nugg on 420, so we've given you a few examples of some deals on flower:

Pure Marijuana Dispensary

The Stone Dispensary

Doc's Apothecary

Pre-Rolls (Joints)

Sometimes buying by the joint can really help you save money on weed. Some of our featured stores are offering great deals on prerolls right now, like:

Golden Meds

Pure Marijuana Dispensary

1136 Yuma

Concentrates

When you buy wax, you're spending a lot less and getting a lot more (when it comes to grams, etc.). You can really make wax go a long way, so here are some of the best 420 deals on wax – and holy cow, do we have a good list of deals on concentrate:

Peak MJ

Golden Meds (Med Only)

The Lodge Cannabis

Three Rivers Dispensary (Pueblo, CO)

Edibles

If you're not looking to inhale your weed, you can always ingest it! Edibles are a safer, "healthier" alternative to smoking weed. Here are some great 420 deals on edibles:

Pure Marijuana Dispensary

The Stone

Golden Meds

More Deals on Cannasaver

Who doesn’t love a good deal?

Especially when it comes to a variety of cannabis products.

Here at Cannasaver, we want to light up your 420 celebrations by offering you the latest deals from local dispensaries.

These aren't the only deals on things like wax, edibles, and flower. Go and select "420 Deals" under the Categories to see all the weed options you can save on.

Make sure you browse the category and store selections from the dropdown menu, as there are so many more 420 deals you don't want to miss. 

Happy blazing!

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Hey duders, you mind if I bum a smake? Even if I can’t get a whole joint, I’d be happy to just smake all your roaches. I don’t deserve good bud. I’m a hack, a novice, a grade-A moron. I just lost like $420 in a matter of hours. How? On Dogecoin! And right before I was about to go spend the money wisely, on something more long-term like a satchel! Good gravy. This is shaping up to be the worst 420 ever since, like, that one year that we all had to start living indoors.

I hate to beg, but what am I supposed to to do? Last night on 420’s Eve, I got ripped right as the clock struck midnight, and then I was like, that’s it, I’m gonna YOLO the rest of my security deposit on this Dogecoin, because, like, I just wanted to be a millionaire. Quick million bucks! That, and it was right at 42 cents. Deja vu, right? It felt familiar. So I bought a ton, thinking, I’d wake up this morning and be like, driving around in a Rolls Royce on the way to work. 

Hugh Jollydab, Crypto Investor

Man it sucked to wake up. The price was just putzin’ around. I was like, “Hello, corporate marketing just fudged up the first meme hive jackpot,” and couldn’t help but slump around all morning waiting for life signs on my stupid app. I even brought the phone into the stupid shower. By mid-morning I’d lost enough dough for a huge satchel, and by the afternoon, it was way down, at just the moment I wanted to go pickup my smake for the holiday! The spite was real, you wouldn’t believe it. $420 down by 4:20, right down the drain!  

I thought I was going to be ordering like, burritos for the whole apartment building today. I was gonna go out and buy one of those waffle makers they have at hotels, that like, flips over, and I was going to make a foot-tall belgian waffle tower with strawberries and like, ten cans of whipped cream. I was going to sit around in a new Hefner bathrobe sipping Jim Beam while they installed my new living room hot tub! I was gonna turn my apartment into Graceland!

But no! Now it’s gonna be a rough month. No more kind bud for me. I’m gonna be smaking steems guys, scraping resin. In fact that reminds me, you guys got any old pieces layin’ around? I’ll take ‘em home and scrape ‘em and clean ‘em right up, pro bono! I brought my backpack and some bubble wrap to take home whatever rotten, danky old bongs and spoons you have. I’m not too proud to smake resin for a month, and knowing me it’ll only take a week to churn through even your blackest, foulest pieces.

You know what? It might not be over for me. Maybe if everybody pitches in and buys like, a couple thousand bucks of Doge right now, we can still make me millionaire. I don’t see why anyone shouldn’t be completely down with that plan. I totally promise if we do that, guys, it’s stuffed crust pizza for everyone. I’m buying. Just please don’t make me go through 420, smaking only the crust off my grinder. Stupid Doge.
 

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Tagged in: 420 friendly

Remember that 20-pound chunk of ice cream that blasted through a man’s roof last week? “Boom, this huge scoop of ice cream just came out of nowhere through our ceiling,” Ken Malman said over the weekend. “It only missed the family cat by inches.”

Malman, of Mount Hasherhorn, said he was just starting to load a wake and bake bowl when the giant scoop of ice cream, flavored mint chip, landed on the other side of the coffee table. The incident left both him, and his cross-eyed cat, traumatized, even though both devoured an estimated third of the scoop before managing to shove the rest in a nearly-empty freezer. 

But, eager to know exactly who and what could produce a huge flying scoop of ice cream, Malman contacted professors at Cannatown University to pick it up for analysis. The Department of Megamunchies were able to give Dispatches a look into the research they’ve done. 

Mr. Malman stands with family outside his Ice Cream Meteor-struck house.

"Well it's really creamy mint," Dr. Phillips said, wiping bits of chocolate from his beard. "Right now it's a little contaminated with stuff like insulation and this poor gentleman's roof. But apart from that, its gooey, fudgy center was a real treat for us all.”

“I’m glad we brought extra spoons,” he added. 

Doctor Voulter, another lead researcher, labeled the find as a megameteorscoop, or, a very large chunk of ice cream, which, despite being almost physically impossible to occur naturally near earth’s surface, form under psychedelic atmospheric conditions in the Highlands, specifically in the ‘tripoutsphere,’ or upper-lower atmosphere.

“Maybe a dozen of these fall around the world, but we really don’t have any idea how they form,” Dr. Voulter said. “The science isn’t just in its infancy; the fact is, most of the time, when huge 20-50 pound scoops of ice cream land anywhere, they are almost always eaten immediately as mega-munchies by the local civilians. Throughout history.”

“The only similar story we’ve heard of in recent years concerns a tribe in the South Pacific who ate through a massive pile of Cookie Dough Vanilla Bean before it went bad,” Phillips recalled. But the “fairy tale” came with a warning: “There is no reason to try to find these scoops--they’re completely random--or, to stop their estimated terminal velocity of 150 miles per hour.”

“In this way, megameteorscoops are lethal as they are tasty,” Phillips said sternly.

It is due to the rarity of finding one somewhat still intact, that has researchers all abuzz about the specimen. “I can’t wait to dig in, and get a bite of knowledge,” said Vivica Carlyle, graduate student at CU. “The question on everybody’s mind, first and foremost, is whether this ice cream is as good, or better, than Häagen Dazs.” Researchers are planning a 12-week study, or "'til it runs out."

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Hey what's up homedogs, mind if I join in on your smake? How've you been handling stuff? Do we really have to wear masks while we hit steamrollers, am I right? Like, should I swab down the bong? Oh, I should? Swabbing. Yea, it hasn't been easy, but I found one thing that's just taken my mind off everything else: that's right, I've been writing a romance novel.

Stop, you say--but not until I've explained myself. This isn't just about some wacky guy who, uh, gets down all stoned with a princess and then they like, hookup. Guys, this is a story for the ages. About a guy, just like you and me. And deep down he knows someone is out there just for him. And maybe he searches and searches for a bit. And that's when he meets...the bud of his dreams. 

Mordecadecai Tuckerson, Romance Novelist

That’s right. It’s a bud. Not like all those other stories. This is a plump, perfectly-trimmed nug, not too moist, not too dry, cured in some beautiful wine cellar, super sugary and fruity like fresh-baked muffins. And maybe he tries a taste, just dips his toes, and just has a long moment where he locks eyes with the bud, except the bud isn’t alive, but he like, well, he loads it and smakes it because that’s what you do, ha. 

Here, I should hit this, sorry.

And here's the clincher. It was under his nose the whole time. Like, a friend gave him a satchel with this beautiful huge nuggersh, and once he finds it, he just like, he cherishes it. He like, loves that thing. He puts it in this golden box and can't help but tell the world about it. 

I mean, this guy is really happy. Happiest he's ever been.

But then he realizes their time is short. The days are counted together. And it's just this daily struggle about a dude who loves this beautiful little nug so much, but he has to break off little parts of it and, like, smake it right in front of the bud.

Man, every time I say it, wow--doesn't that just move you? Sorry, argh homies, I got something in my eye.

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Tagged in: 420 friendly

Perhaps it was a moment of psychiatric paralysis, perhaps out of sheer boredom from lockdown, but Mayor J. Van Cannaby, City Council, and Chamber of Commerce have started the year on a new foot: with the goal of redoing “all measurements” that govern our lives, from distance to volume. Following a Friday night virtual bong-binge with other town leaders, wherein the new structures and labeling were hammered out, a “measure” passed unanimously at 4:20AM in the morning with anyone still conscious to vote.

Although popular due to “tearing down of outdated institutions,” the revolutionary change is already gaining opposition from various parties who will see their own distribution points radically affected. For instance, all liquid-volume measurements will be refactored from fractions of gallon or liter systems into four main categories: sips, swallows (aka ‘swals’), swigs, and the optional and variable “chugs” to scale. Commercial productions must recalibrate. “I just ruined a recipe that called for a swal of vegetable oil,” said baker Rordon Gamsey, “But who’s to say my swal is the same as the next person? Do they realize how much I can chug?” 

A lady tries out one of Cannatown's new forms of liquid-volume measurements, the "swig"

In another case, a traveler ran out of gas on a trip because the road sign had been changed to read "Resinville: 6 Jaunts." The account seemed to verify the prescient warnings of council-member Jeanie Barnes who had wondered aloud, “What if people completely misjudge the length of a ‘jaunt?’"

Meanwhile, the Ways and Means Committee slipped a provision into the bill to flip the entire polarity of monetary value in order to save on costs. Now, the most expensive things will cost mere pennies, while trivial crap will cost billions apiece.

If that’s true, then the richest 1% are now the poorest simply by owning money, while the penniless should be able to buy up mansions by the dozen. “That’s great news for me,” says local banjo-strumming wastrel Tim Litscher. “I ain’t got shit.”

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Tagged in: 420 friendly

Are UFOs hogwash? Do aliens exist and did they take my pills? Have they visited earth and if so was it their dog that left a dooty on the park strip? 

These are just some questions the local chapter of Freemont Scientacular Nerdry Society (FSNS) are hoping to answer when they make a key address later this afternoon to residents of the Stinky Shady Creek Nursing Home.

For decades, if not centuries, stoned geeks have reported encounters with strange objects, some of which were Unusual-Ass Projectiles (UAP's). Now that the government has informally confirmed some of these recordings, the local FSNS members feel that their time has come. “In the past, we’ve been ridiculed for insisting upon the presence of intergalactic visitors, and now we are prepared to present some of our life’s work,” said local FSNS chapter president, Theodore Montgomery. “Specifically, we're eager to stroll through about 100 Powerpoint slides.”

Elderly residents prepare to learn about technologically-advanced intergalactic civilizations

Overtly paranoid and eager for social contact, the nursing home residents, who have yet to learn of the day’s activity, represent the exact kind of inquiring population that FSNS hopes will embrace their message. An estimated 75 seniors plan to be present, as the briefings will follow Bridge Club, directly prior to 4:30 dinnertime. Several will also be on prescription sedatives.

“People walked out on us in Ashville, and most recently at Bongaroo,” said Montgomery. “Finally we’re confident that we've found an audience that won’t leave or throw tomatoes.”

“We double-checked their cafeteria menu,” he added.

While galactic issues have never taken first priority at the home, the mysteries of space clearly weigh heavily on all. Some residents have expressed fear in the past that UAP's might be the tools of military adversaries out to get their blood pressure medication. Others have complained that aliens walk among us, namely, whatever substitute aides are covering for normal nursing staff during vacation days. And 10% believe they are currently on a UFO.

Home Director Beverly Myles is hopeful but doesn't quite know what to expect. "At first I thought maybe this presentation would help quell our little hunger strike over ‘extraterrestrial’ pancakes, but now I fear it could get worse."

"Almost nobody eats those pancakes now," she added. "Perfectly good though. Scratch Bisquick with extra cinnamon."

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Tagged in: 420 friendly

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